“I was just thinking about you,” he said.
Whenever his text comes across my phone it brings a smile to my face. Its just something about him! I met him in New Orleans during Essence Festival and we still talk from time to time, whether through text or phone conversation. He was my “Mr. I’m not going to ask if he is saved cause I just don't want to know” guy. And no, I have yet to ask him about his salvation because I am almost certain he isn’t! You know a tree by the fruit it bears. Any conversation that veers on the side of religion brings forth either a sarcastic tone or simple silence. Not in a negative way, but in a “I didn't grow up in church so anything overtly churchy is misunderstood or comical” kind of way. He knows I’m a minister and never ceases to imitate the asthmatic preacher from Coming to America as his depiction of all ministers. Many times I have to laugh, but inside I am slightly saddened that he just doesn't get it.
Besides his lack of church culture and salvation we have the best conversations! No less than an hour on the phone every time we talk. The conversations are insightful and meaningful on various topics: sports, media, music, etc. He listens and is interested in everything I have to say. He is socially conscious and knowledgeable on so many levels. Our last conversation was almost two hours, and yes I do look at the phone when we talk. One of my love languages is quality time. I value a man that would spend more than 30 mins on the phone discussing something other than sex and/or when he can come over.
Our last conversation entailed discussing the negative effects of music on our culture and in particular, our young black males. He spoke so many truths and enlightened me on musical lyrics I was completely unaware of. If we really knew the words of the songs these kids listen to, we would get back to the days of banning music from playing on the airways or even sold in stores! Remember that episode on a Different World? They immediately shut down the entire radio show because of an obscene song Dwayne Wayne decided to play on the radio! But I digress…
Because of the missing puzzle piece of salvation, I knew a romantic relationship could not come to fruition. But, don't you know I prayed about! My prayer went something like this:
Lord, now I’ve been CONTENT with being single all this time.
I’ve prayed that you would send me a saved man,
And this man you have allowed me to cross paths with is beautiful!
He is attractive, tall, educated, and has a great smile! You know Lord, all the things I like!
All I am asking is that you save him! I mean Lord, you can do all things!
I dont ask for much! (Don’t we always end with this line when we’re begging God for something! LOL)
Now I know you are probably thinking, now Kristin, you ought to be ashamed of yourself! You know better than that! You’re right! I do! But sometimes you take a stab at to see if God would oblige! But once I got out of my feelings, which took about a day, I truly started to pray for him. Sometimes you come across some amazing people who you simply think to yourself, if they only knew Christ, what an even more amazing person they would be.
Its that whole evangelism piece. I found myself no longer longing to be his girlfriend and having unsaved thoughts of us together, at least not as frequent ( just being honest), but seeking God on his behalf for salvation. Interceding for him and asking God to show me how I can shine my light whenever we interact or speak. Not beating him over the head with scripture and church jargon, but truly continuing to be myself and let God do the work.
I’m even starting to gain greater perspective on why God allows me to cross paths with various people, in particular men that I may initially date. Dating is simply spending time to get to know someone. I constantly share with people that I have yet to have a bad experience with dating. Several of the men I’ve gone on dates with are not saved and it just hasn’t worked out. But in hindsight, even if I choose not to continue dating them, it doesn't mean I can’t still pray for them! Instead of becoming frustrated because I’ve deemed them not “the one”, I add them to my prayer list! What a concept!
We are Christ's ambassadors whether we are on a date or in a foreign country. We’re to always seek to fulfill the Great Commission, even if it's over dinner and a movie! Sounds crazy right, but so true!
I truly have a desire for all people, particularly my African American brothers, to know Christ; to seek after Him and live a life pleasing to God. Not just to be someone’s husband, but to simply be the man of God he was called to be.
But Ladies, could you imagine? We’d have more than two brothers to pick from in church! You don't know when to shout, or better yet, you don't know when to start praying! Get to work, but check your motive at the door!