"Do I act like my biological clock is ticking?" she asked me.
A friend of mine was talking with a guy she met at work and he apparently told her her biological clock was ticking! Side note, men that is NOT a statement to make to a woman, particularly a black woman! We already have enough to deal with. This biological clock statement might just push us over the edge!
Sitting in church today, watching the children's Easter/Resurrection program, I couldn't help but smile and think to myself, "I cant wait to have my own kids in the Easter program, and with a bomb Easter outfit! My baby would be the best up there!" But I digress! I immediately had to shut the clock all the way off!! Here I go again! I'm not ready for kids! They are cute to look at, but I wouldn't know the first thing to do with a child right now, especially without a husband! And as busy as I am, we would eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Not a good look or a good feeling!
The actual theory of biological clocks has gotten out of hand! It scares women into believing that past a certain age, the birth of a child may be a figment of their imagination. It kills dreams and pushes many women into desperation, settling for the then and now, or pulling a Mary Jane and impregnating themselves, by themselves!
The reality is, the "biological clock" is a true mechanism in the body that determines sleep and wake patterns, as well as the "age predictor" to measure and predict the ability to have children safely and born healthy. And reality is, the older women become, it may be more difficulty to conceive children. As Christian women, we have been beaten over the head to "trust God" and "wait on Him". And my favorite,"Your season is coming." Giving birth is an amazing experience that most women, despite the pain that will await, want to experience. We almost look at it as the epitome of being a woman. We bring forth life through child birth. That's what we were created to do. But I'm coming to truly understand that a woman's ability to give life exceeds actual child birth. We as women have so much to offer the world through our minds and our spirit. We are givers of life every time we wake up and decide to go about our day allowing God to use us. And there so many children surrounding us who need our love and attention. It's good ground to practice on!
And I just find it hard to believe that God would have so many stories of women in the bible having children in their latter years just to make their stories more interesting. His aim was to demonstrate his power and the level of trust we must have in him, or reveal our lack their of. Many times our struggle is all apart of the growing process, particularly as women. I am learning constant lessons EVERYDAY!
Children are amazing to me! There is nothing in this world that makes me smile more than a child in all their glory. From the smart things they say, to their amazing energy and excitement about life! They are carefree and depend on the adult to meet their needs. And immediately God reminded me, Kristin, instead of desiring to have a child right now, act like one! Enjoy your life, live care free, and depend on me!
I recall growing up and knowing that my mother would absolutely always take care of me. She gave me what i needed, and most of the time the things that I wanted. It came with responsibilities and being on my best behavior, but she rewarded me for it. It eventually became habit to act right and know that something good would come from it, even if it was just her telling me "I'm proud of you!"
Without a man or a child in my life right now, I am complete. From day to day I have to remind myself of that, but society just won't let you off that easy! But what I won't do is allow society to continue to dictate a life that they didn't give to me and have no control over. Reminding myself of who I am, and whose I am. For now, I will use my biological clock, not to fuel my anxiety of child birth and marriage, but to enjoy the life I have been given each day and use it to give birth to someone or something. Give birth to your dreams, aspirations, and desires! Do what you thought you couldn't do, go where you've always wanted to go, and give to others who need more than you!
And I will simply end with this familiar scripture, in the Message version, Matthew 6:30-34 reads,