“You deserve more than the words ‘I love you’”, he said.
This past Tuesday was the season premiere of “Being Mary Jane,” the drama series starring Gabrielle Union portraying a young, single, black, successful woman who is climbing the ladder of success while stumbling down the stairs of love. It was a season three premiere that was simply one word: AMAZING!! Many have negative comments toward the show, but I find it to be refreshing and relatable. Yes, she slept with a married man, only for one season, though! No, she is not perfect. And yes, the eye candy on her show is truly worth the watch! I use to want to be a journalist. Her strive toward success is inspiring, and I find that her relationship struggles hit closer to home than I expected.
I attempted to tweet throughout the show but just couldn't keep up with all the great quotes that were catapulting from the actors mouths! The writing was great. The story line was real, and I was left thinking and questioning things in my own life, even after it was all over. I can’t really say I feel that way after Scandal and Empire. I’m just saying! (sips tea)
One particular scene, my favorite scene, was between Mary Jane and her youngest brother. As they sat on her bed discussing the real reason she experienced a loss of control of her car and, therefore, ended up in a car accident, he simply shared the truth. She overheard her ex-boyfriend and best friend discuss a sexual relationship they had, and in shock, she ended up swerving and hitting a pole.
Her brother was sincere and honest in letting her know that the man she thought she loved wasn’t willing to fight for her. Her ex boyfriend was the love of her life and the man she desired to marry, yet they just couldn't seem to work it out. Mary Jane was always the one reaching out and fighting to make it work, yet his fight seemed to be non-existent. Her brother explained that because he grew up accustomed to everything being given to him, he didn't have to fight or work for much of anything, let alone a woman and a relationship. He didn't deserve her. He said, “you deserve more than the words ‘I love you’.”
As Mary Jane began to rationalize and defend him, like only women can, she stated, “I simply just want to be loved and for a man to think of me as someone he couldn't live without.” I almost cried! The truth of that statement pierced straight through my heart. What woman doesn’t want to feel that way? What woman hasn't sat and fantasized about the day a man would say that to her? And what woman hasn’t heard a man say the words “I love you” and “ I can't live without you” and experienced heart break all in the same breathe.
Words are just that, words. They can only hold so much weight before they fall to the waist side. It takes action to keep a word afloat and alive. I’ve struggled for a long time, taking the words of a man and not requiring much action. I too, like Mary Jane, desire love and attention. I desire to be someone’s everything. Simply hearing certain phrases would make my heart smile and meet a need that longed for affirmation and attention, yet feeling empty when the action behind the words never came to full fruition. I found myself settling with the words just being good enough, but deeply desiring more. Did I deserve more? Were the words just to be enough? Will I find anyone better?
The truth of the matter is, yes! I deserve more and words are not enough. Mary Jane deserves more. Yes, even her fictional character who inadvertently represents many women, deserves more!
A scripture says, “ you can recognize them by their fruit, that is, by the way they act.” (Matthew 7:16). To recognize means to watch and then acknowledge. We must require a man to show us how he feels about us and not just tell us what he thinks we want to hear. And when he shows you, believe him! It’s like a game of spades. His actions are his two, his words are his “possibles”. His words come with doubt, but his actions come with certainty.
You deserve more than the words ‘I love you’. You are worth the fight. You are worth the wait. You are worth the time. You are worth the work. You are worth it. You deserve every action of the phrase “I love you”. They say faith without works is dead. I would also venture to say that love without works is simply non-existent. Just ask this guy named Jesus. His action spoke loud and clear, and are still speaking today! (John 3:16)