Sunday, October 11, 2015

Just One of 'dem Days!

“You don’t want a drink?” he asked.

It was just one of ‘dem days.  It’d been a rough week, and it didn't help that, on this day, it was “that time of the month.”  I felt some type of way about EVERYTHING! My back was hurting, I was feeling lonely, and anything anybody said to me made me feel emotional and somewhat bothered.  My poor patients, particularly the old men, didn't stand a chance. I was not in the mood for the sly compliments and daily request for me to be their “personal caregivers.” Today wasn't the day!

Did I mention I was feeling lonely? So I decided to take myself out on a solo date. Why may you ask? I’m really not sure.  The ironic thing is, I was actually supposed to have a date that day, but it fell through, so I assumed that maybe I needed to be with myself for a bit.  Maybe do what so many other women are doing these days, “date myself.”

I finished up with my patients a bit early that day and after going grocery shopping, I decided to take myself out to Chevys, a TexMex restaurant in the area that I hadn't been to in a while.  It was a Thursday afternoon and I was craving quesadillas with chips and salsa. Table for one, please!

Can I just say, solo dates are for the birds! Who came up with that concept!? I mean, I get it. You want to know that you can treat your own self and spend time with yourself and be one with yourself! Listen, I can do that all by my lonesome in my own home! Do I have to go out in public and be solo?  It was just a bit awkward, on top of the fact my phone died, so I seriously had to be by myself! Thank goodness they were showing football on the televisions because, did I mention, it was just a bit awkward! I felt like my waiter kept giving me looks and assuming someone else was going to join me.

Now, I will say it was a bit peaceful because the bar area was not packed and my food came out quite quickly. I was able to “woosah” my day away with salsa, chips, and quesadillas. I truly wanted a drink, but I was headed to a meeting at church and let’s just say, I didn't want to lose my collar that night! But, it was definitely a strong consideration!  A nice frozen strawberry margarita would have done me just right! But there’s that whole ministry, boundaries, wisdom, discernment piece that kicked in all at the same time. I abstained! Growth! Y'all don't know when to shout!

So as I drove to church blasting Monica’s “Just One of ‘dem Days”, I really thought to myself, solo dates really aren’t that bad. The concept can be a bit much when women talk about buying themselves flowers, dressing up, and actually going on a date by themselves! Now that I just wouldn't do! But some much needed time away with yourself wouldn’t hurt every now again.  In actuality, it could be the best thing for you; just having peace and silence with yourself and truly enjoying your own company.  I’m clearly not a man, but a woman who is comfortable with herself and finds joy in who she is outside of other people is so attractive!

I’m actually planning a solo trip to Philadelphia at the end of the month. I’m headed there to do a fashion show and decided to make it a weekend trip. On top of the fact that I love staying in hotels, I’ve never been to Philly, so I look forward to that time in the city.  I do plan to connect with friends that I know in the area, but I will definitely be spending a majority of my time with myself, maybe even catch a train to New York City! Ok, maybe that might be a bit much, but hey, I’m on a roll here!  And hey, I may even meet “Mr. Right” on my solo-cation, because ladies, what a man finds even more attractive is a woman who is by herself and not surrounded by a bunch of women! Don't miss your blessing by always being in the crowd!

So, I think I’ll leave the flowers, wining, and dining to my man, whoever he may be, but at the end of the day, it's all about knowing, loving, and accepting you in your own space and time.  I always ask myself, “Would I marry me?” “Would I date me?” and even simply “Would I want to spend time me?” And the answer is simply and emphatically, Yes!!