Sunday, September 20, 2015

To Give My Number.......That is the Question!

“Good day to ya Kristin,” he texted.

Now back in the day when I was doing the online dating scene, almost 4 months ago, I met and exchanged numbers with quite a few men. I never saved numbers in my phone unless they reached a status to deserve that space, and needless to say, many did not, including this guy.

Now my memory is pretty good when it comes to people and particular situations. The great thing about technology and smartphones, they track your text message and phone conversations for months!  I recall chatting with this guy online and exchanging numbers. His name was pretty unique so it left an imprint, yet his presence never did. We never got a chance to meet or talk on the phone, yet, for the past 4 months, this man has periodically sent me text messages! Whether it was “Have a great day”, “Good morning”, or “Happy Friday”, they would all be months apart and extremely random! Never once has he picked up the phone to call and actually hear my voice. So at this point I am weirded out and simply confused. What game is he playing? Whatever it is, I was about to play it back!

He texted me the other day after nearly a month from his last text message, which I never answer, by the way, but today I decided to answer. I needed this dude, or whoever he was, to get a clue! Normal people don't do this! His randomness was not cute nor would it continue to get my attention. I proceeded to ask who he was. He sent me a picture this time and told me his name. I then proceeded to play my dumb blonde role and ask, “Have we met?” His response, “Not yet.”

Now I’m fresh off of seeing the movie Perfect Guy with Sanaa Lathan and Michael Ealy in which Ealy plays a stalker boyfriend turn killer. The man had cameras in her home and was hiding in closets and under beds!  I told my friends I don't do movies like that because they make me paranoid, but noooo, they had to see Ealy and that fine Morris Chestnut. Ok, so maybe I enjoyed seeing them too, they were fine! But I digress….

“Not yet” sounded like a stalker response to me.  My response, “Yet??” As in, sir, did you ever have intentions of meeting me since we exchanged numbers back in June!? Again, who does this? Better yet, who thinks this is ok?  I continued with the game because I just needed him to acknowledge that it’s been 4 months and be accountable for his delay and randomness!

“When did we exchange numbers again?” I asked. And of course, like a true man, not all men, but this man, when his back was against a wall and the truth was in his face, he retreated. I sent that text at 5:07pm. It was currently 10:00pm, and still no response. Guess I’ll have to wait another month before I get an answer, but by then his number will be blocked!

What really runs through some men's head? Do they think we really sit around awaiting their call or text messages and desperately jumping at the chance for any form of male contact, communication, or attention? Truth is, there are many women out there who are absolutely jumping at any chance, but not this girl! Consistency and follow through are a must, and randomness and inconsistency get you deleted or blocked.

I guess along with his random text message, I can celebrate my 4 month anniversary of being off of online dating!!! I’ve actually felt less stressed and overwhelmed and dating hasn't been at the forefront of my mind as much lately.  I think I’ve been on one or two dates since getting offline and I’m ok with that!  I’m challenging myself to get out more and enjoy different activities in which I can meet men the old fashion way.  

I’ve also found that guarding and being more choosy about who I give my number to is a must.  I’ve always given it freely, even to guys I wasn't interested in.  I felt bad and a bit obligated since they were doing the approaching. Oh, but now I’m learning that my phone number is a precious commodity that allows direct access, and every Joe Blow that ask doesn't deserve that privilege. There’s a scripture in the bible that says, “ To much is given, much is required” (Luke 12:48), and my number absolutely comes with some responsibility!

So I’m asking God to give me more discernment when it comes to guys who ask for my number. Better yet, I may just start taking theirs! It may sound a bit extreme and maybe even taking the more dominate role in the sequence of phone number exchange, but hey, they say insanity is doing the same thing and expecting a different result. This girl is ready to be married, so no more insane actions from me! My mother keeps telling me to act like I’m ready to be married, so I think I’ll give it a try!